Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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