the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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