Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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