Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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