I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You made out with two different species that night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
