it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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