Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
