Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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