Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
