Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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