Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Randomize
