Michael Bay diarrhea
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
