pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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