dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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