i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
