i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
