did you get engaged???
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
