One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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