i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
