You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
