It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This girl is more easily done than said...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Randomize
