I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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