Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
