people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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