She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
