you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
