If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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