She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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