so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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