I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
