The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
