Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
