my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
