It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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