dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
