sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just puked most of my soul out..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
