Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
