so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
