Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
