Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
