Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
