Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
