his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
40s are totally the cure
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
