he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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