we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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