Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
