was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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