It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
