She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
People in love make me want to vomit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
