I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
