I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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